Clear Visions and Open Minds in Matchmaking

Our members are highly successful, confident people who have worked hard throughout their life to achieve their goals. As high-flyers, their knowledge and expertise has provided them with success and wealth.

But they’ve come to us because, in one area, their tried and tested methods, their hard work and resilience, hasn’t got the results they want. Where they’ve succeeded phenomenally in work and other areas of life, their love life hasn’t quite had the same outcome.

A Clear Vision vs An Open Mind

New members usually come to us with a clear idea of what they’re looking for in a partner, and what they’re not. They’ve spent their lives in responsible jobs where firm decisions and clarity are key, and they bring that to their love life too.

But the thing is, people aren’t quite so easy to box up, and such decisiveness can be part of the issue. They’re single, so it’s obvious that something from their criteria isn’t right. Maybe it’s something small, maybe it’s something big, but it’s certainly preventing them from finding a long-term partner.

I always look at my original meeting notes when a member starts a longer-term relationship to see how closely their new partner matches their original desires. It’s never the same. There is always, always something that is different. Sometimes it’s a small change, like they live a little further away than originally hoped. And sometimes it’s a total u-turn because that member is on a journey of self-discovery as much as a matchmaking journey.

As members start meeting people through our matching service, we obtain benchmarks that guide us to an ideal partner. We take feedback from the member and look closely at what resonates and what doesn’t. This then helps us understand the qualities and traits that genuinely mean something so we can translate them, in turn, into further introductions that are closer to their unrecognised ideal.

One thing we find in particular is that, at the start of the process, many members are focused on aesthetic criteria: height, hair-colour, eye colour, build... These are all things that are generally much simpler to identify and put into words than personality traits. It’s much easier to say you like blonde hair than it is to specify the exact type of humour that makes you tick. But physical appearance isn’t what makes a long-term relationship, and we’re in the business of long-term.

As our members meet more people, we can help them better express their wants and needs for traits that matter in a committed relationship: connection, humour, mind-set, aspirations, morals and values. As a result, they become more open-minded as they’re able to more easily articulate these important traits.

A Complete U-Turn

We had a fantastic couple get engaged at the Eiffel Tower in Paris at the end of 2024. When he came to us, he knew exactly what he wanted, and he was very strict about it: a British lady who had her own children so that she could understand his own family of four.

A first date with someone who matched these clear requirements didn’t work out, and I knew from experience that something needed to change.

He and I had communicated a lot during the early stages of his membership, and he’d been really open and honest about himself and his life. For his second introduction, I asked him if he would trust me to go a little off-piste. I didn’t want to disrespect his boundaries, but I also had someone in mind who I knew well, and who I thought would make a fantastic match. We agreed, and I told him to let me know if I was way off the mark.

The lady I introduced was Iranian and had no children, a far cry from his original wishes. But they were a match made in heaven - all the important things were compatible. They laughed a lot, they had the same goals in life, they had experiences and stories they could share and that resonated. Within 2 months they had moved in together, and within 2 years, they were engaged. After that first date with his now-fiance, he had messaged me  to say “'thank you for encouraging me to be open-minded”. Of course, I needed to thank him for putting his trust in me, too.

Now all I need to do is wait for my invitation to the wedding!

Building Trust

When a highly successful person has had no luck in their love life, it’s clear to me that their current methods or expectations aren’t working. But because they have been successful in other parts of their life, it can be hard to admit that the formula needs to be adjusted. Our role is to build trust to help our members let go of fixed ideas of type, to relax a little, and to identify the things that are really important.

As matchmaking experts, this is what we do and what we’re good at. The members who come to us for guidance, and then rigidly stick to what they've always done, predictably tend to get the same results they've always had. Those members that are open to making small changes here and there, and to stepping a little beyond their comfort zone, are the ones that find a perfect partner. They don’t need dramatic changes (though some, like our couple above, do benefit from that!), just a little open-mindedness and flexibility, and a willingness to take our expert advice and guidance.

If you’re ready to discover what’s holding you back, and to find the partner of your dreams, get in touch to learn more about membership and become one of our hundreds of success stories!