Are Pre-Date Voicenotes the New ‘Meet Cute’ or a First Impression Faux Pas?

In the ever-evolving world of dating, it seems there’s a new trend taking hold—sending voicenotes on WhatsApp before meeting in person. For some, it might feel like an authentic, playful way to connect beyond text. But here at Bowes-Lyon, we’ve observed that this practice, can be surprisingly detrimental to making that all-important first impression.

We’ve seen how quick exchanges on voice or video can set the stage in unintended ways—sometimes leading to mismatches before a date even begins.

Dating and technology

Why Voicenotes and Video Calls Could Be Hurting Your Chances

It’s natural to want to get a sense of someone’s personality before you meet, but voicenotes or video calls can actually work against the chemistry that forms in person. During COVID, video calls became the only way to interact, but the success rates of these early digital encounters dramatically plummeted, despite people’s best efforts.

Why? It all comes down to how our brains process these virtual experiences. Voices can carry nuances that are easy to misinterpret, and without non-verbal cues like body language, a person might come across very differently than they do in real life. You could inadvertently misjudge someone’s tone, energy, or even humour, forming preconceived notions that could sour the in-person meeting before it even happens.

First Impressions Are Hard to Redo

Meeting in person for the first time allows for a much more holistic impression. In real-life interactions, you’re able to read each other’s body language, gauge the atmosphere, and engage in conversation without the filter of technology. These elements come together to create the chemistry that can be pivotal in sparking attraction.

Voice notes, on the other hand, run the risk of killing the mystery too soon or revealing parts of a personality that might better unfold face-to-face. It’s a shortcut that often backfires, especially if nerves or awkwardness come across in the recording.

The Risks of Over-Connecting Pre-Date

Another issue is that by communicating too much before a date, you might feel like you already know the person, creating unrealistic expectations. Or, even worse, by the time you meet, there may be little left to discover, leaving the conversation feeling flat. Keeping some intrigue alive for your first meeting adds to the excitement.

Here at Bowes-Lyon, we often advise our members to limit pre-date interaction to just enough to gauge mutual interest. Too much contact before meeting, especially in the form of voicenotes or video calls, can lead to preconceived notions that make it harder to enjoy the spontaneous, natural progression of getting to know someone.

A Return to Authentic First Dates

In-person chemistry is everything, and the magic of dating happens when you can truly be present in the moment. So, while it’s tempting to hit that record button and send a quick voice note, consider saving the real connection for when you’re face to face.

At Bowes-Lyon Partnership, we put considerable effort into the timing of our matches, aiming to connect two people and have them be able to meet within a week. Not only are we looking at criteria, qualities, traits, morals, values but we are also considering diaries, schedules and holidays to ensure our matches are given the highest chance of success.,

The truth is, nothing beats the chemistry of an authentic, in-person connection. You only get one shot at a first impression…..make sure it counts!

If you are finding that you are collecting ‘digital pen-pals’ instead of meeting real-life people, then Bowes-Lyon would love to help you on your dating journey.

Click here to arrange a relaxed chat with one of our friendly matchmakers.