Do Opposites Really Attract?

Blue Yin Yang

The most epic love stories and novels of our era all seem to perpetuate the common myth that opposites attract. Whether it is the story of Beauty and the Beast, the poor, orphaned Jane Eyre and the rich, eligible Mr Rochester, or the star-crossed members of the Montague and Capulet families, popular and classic culture would have us believe that our true love is also our polar opposite. But studies have found that, rather than searching for someone who is different to us in every way, we might find the most stable and loving relationships with someone who is more similar.

Much research has been conducted over the years in an attempt to establish whether this maxim has any merit. Studies found that if people considered themselves to be wealthy and attractive, they wanted a partner of equivalent status. If people didn’t consider themselves family-oriented, the research found that they were seeking someone with a similar ideal. Attitude similarities were also established, with matching traits such as agreeableness, conscientiousness, anxiety and extraversion. In a 2009 study of online daters, many initially believed they wanted to find their opposite, hoping it would provide balance, but the people they ended up contacting had very similar personalities to themselves.

These important pieces of research have been taken into account by the staff at Bowes-Lyon Partnership, who have established a system whereby their clients are matched with those who are considered to be most alike and suited to them, rather than someone with a contrasting personality. The expert team at the exclusive dating agency combine their unique Bowes-Lyon Index with the instinct that accompanies years of match-making expertise to match people based on their personalities and their beliefs, with incredibly high success rates.

The team get to know each of their clients individually to better understand their personalities and what they demand of a relationship. The elite introduction service has a client base of select individuals who have successful careers, the criteria of similar work ethic and lifestyle are generally already met; work can then begin on ascertaining how suitable two people are on a more personal level.

The process examines personalities more intensely than simply establishing whether the two prefer sport to the theatre; in these instances, a little difference among interests and hobbies can make for well-rounded individuals and stimulating relationships. Finding a true match through a professional dating service is about looking under the surface of these likes and dislikes to establish the true personality of the person beneath. Those who are similar are more likely to enjoy a more lasting and committed relationship than those who find themselves at opposite ends of every scale.


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