Dear Caron…

Dear Caron

I am recently single and have not dated for many years. I am finding that dating is not what I remembered it to be and I often go home feeling disappointed. Is there something wrong with me that I am not excited by dating?

Beginning dating is often the most difficult time. The struggle is usually expectations. Going back into the dating world is filled with hopes and wants that often can never be met on a first dates. Most people dive into dating expecting it to solve all the issues that they worry about, such as height, weight, income, anger to name a few.

Take the quiz below to see if your expectations are on track:

1. I want to meet someone as soon as possible Y/N
2. The person I date this time has to meet my needs Y/N
3. I should be excited every time I am on a date Y/N
4. My date should understand how I feel about dating Y/N

If you answered more than one yes , you are expecting too much from your date. Dating is to explore and discover the type of person that you want to be in a relationship with. That often means that the beginning is difficult and not as exciting as you would want it to be.

It may be helpful to think about why you are dating and what you hope to get out of your early dates. The less you expect from the date, the more fun you will usually have. Sounds strange, but it works. Dating is a chance to meet new people and get to know yourself .

So, take a chance! Go out dating and have fun, because that’s what makes it all worthwhile.


As a practical, interactive, solution-focused therapist, Caron’s treatment approach is to provide support and practical feedback to help individuals resolve current problems and long-standing patterns.

Blending conventional and alternative approaches, Caron draws on a variety of styles and techniques to incorporate what will be most helpful for each individual. She works with each client to help them build on their strengths to identify and achieve life goals.

Posted in Ask Caron

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