Many of our members at Bowes-Lyon Partnership have had long lasting relationships that, for one reason or another just haven’t worked out and so when it comes to dating again, it can be a daunting experience! Through our Bowes-Lyon index tool and years of experience, we help find your perfect match from our high calibre of members and although we are here to help guide you through the process and ease you into dating, we are well aware of the infamous ‘first date anxieties’ that we find both parties face!
We firmly believe that there are no set rules for dating other than being yourself and of course enjoying the experience but we do find that an awareness of ‘dating etiquette,’ can do wonders! By referring to the following as ‘tips’ and not ‘rules,’ they serve as gentle reminders rather than putting pressure on you before you’ve even left the house!
Tip 1: Remember there are TWO people on the date, it’s not all about you…
It is easy to over compensate for an awkward silence by filling it with stories about yourself and before you’ve realised it, the story about your last Christmas work party has taken over the entire night.
A first date is all about getting to know someone and asking them open-ended questions that they can expand on and really gets the conversation flowing. Subtle compliments and agreeing with the person are also a bonus but it’s always best not to over-do it!
Tip 2: Avoid talking about ‘old flames’
It may be something you both have in common, a recent ex, but on a first date isn’t the most opportune time to bring up the mechanics of your most recent break up. They are not important characters of your date and even if they are the mother/father of your children and you feel it necessary to mention them, don’t dedicate the whole of dessert to talking about them!
Never panic or apologise if you realise you have mentioned an old partner, instead change the direction of the conversation and engage with your DATE, ask them a question and be genuinely interested in what they have to say!
Tip 3: Be on time, if possible 10 minutes early!
No man or woman is impressed by tardiness because it shows lack of respect, especially on a first date! Obviously in the real world running late isn’t a punishable offence and happens to the most organised of us, but try your hardest not to keep your first date waiting and if unavoidable, make sure you give them plenty of notice!
Tip 4: You’re on a date with a person, not your phone!
It seems like most of the population have their phone surgically attached to their ear and find it hard to be apart from it even at the dinner table but on a first date, it is imperative that your phone is hidden away and on silent! It’s simple politeness that is so easily overlooked because of our reliance on our phones but there is nothing worse than your date constantly checking their phone, even if they really are waiting for a work email! We have found this to be a number 1 turn off because if you can’t focus on your first date, it doesn’t bode well for a second date!
Tip 5: Eye contact!
A simple tip that can work wonders is eye contact! Francine Kaye our qualified Relationship Coach, Imago Therapist, author and the UK’s Leading Relationship Expert regularly tells our members that the key to upholding confidence and sincerity is to maintain eye contact from the moment you meet. We’re not talking constant scrutiny of your date’s every movement but your ability to make eye contact will show your date that you are truly interested in them. Alongside checking your phone, constant looking around is another big turn off!
First dates can either make or break your chance of getting a second date. Knowing these first date etiquettes will certainly help you a lot to have a successful and romantic first date but remember every date is different and it is about allowing the conversation to flow, not about checking your list of conversation starters! Dating is an experience so you should never come back from a first date with a negative attitude but with the knowledge that you were yourself and had fun, hopefully!
If you have found yourself back on the ‘dating scene’ and are unsure of where to begin, contact Bowes-Lyon Partnership who are delighted to offer a complimentary, no obligation consultation to all enquirers of our service. The consultation will take place in either the relaxed surroundings of our Belgravia offices, or alternatively, one of our experts will be happy to meet with you at a mutually convenient location for an informal chat over coffee.