Why do some men want to date significantly younger women?

As owners of the UKs exclusive dating agency, Bowes-Lyon Partnership Ltd, we always strive to at the very least meet the criteria and preferences of our members. We work with well educated, often hard working professionals all of whom are looking for a long term committed relationship. They join Bowes-Lyon Partnership to benefit from the individually tailored approach we offer to introduce them to their like minded equal. But it’s fair to say there is one particular criteria that we are often asked by some of our male members who are in their early to mid fifties, which can prove a little challenging... there is a common desire to find a partner who is at least 15 years younger than they are...

The reason this is often a challenge is that ladies in their late thirties are generally looking to find a partner 5 years either side of their own age. Perhaps they would like to have children and they are often in the middle of a demanding career – areas we frequently find our gentlemen in their early to mid fifties are not necessarily so focused on.

So why do some men want their partner to be significantly younger?

Obviously every man is different, so the reasons vary as to why some gentlemen want a younger partner. But our experience tells us these reasons tend to fall in to one of three groups:

It’s common for gentlemen in their early to mid fifties who are looking for a new partner to have come out of a long term relationship or marriage and as the Office of National Statistics shows, there is an over-index of divorce rates for those in their fifties. We hear time and time again that once the children have flown the nest and couples only have each other to focus on at home that cracks can begin to appear and well established marriages or relationships can break down after the ‘glue’ that’s to a large extent held it together has gone. So we find that there are gentlemen in their early to mid fifties who are keen to move away from the age that perhaps their ex-partner was, which tends to be similar to their age. So rather than looking to meet someone older than they are, they want to meet someone younger.

Another common reason we find that gentlemen are looking for a significantly younger partner is their own vibrancy and thirst for life. Many have established, successful careers and are looking to readjust their work/life balance in favour of more free time to finally enjoy the things they love. Many men in the early to mid fifties age bracket these days are fit, active, vibrant and young at heart individuals who look and feel much younger than they are and so they are seeking a partner who is like-minded in attitude and looks. It can be common to automatically associate someone who is significantly younger with these traits.

Another reason, which isn’t relevant for all men, is that some gentlemen enjoy being depended upon. It’s largely within the genetic make-up of men to be the ‘hunter gatherer’, the one who provides and leads. So it stands to reason that an older gentleman will generally have more life experience, be more established within a career and so want someone who to a certain extent looks up to him, respects him and makes him feel needed again.

But interestingly, we find that it is often the case that if we introduce gentlemen to younger ladies it is then that we find they realise their priorities were perhaps incorrectly set as they have fewer things in common than they would like. Ladies in their late thirties tend to be at the peak of their careers and/or perhaps have young children or want young children whereas gentleman in the early to mid fifties, tend to have already ‘been there and done that’. Even simple things such as taste in music and socialising can vary dramatically with a significant age gap and it invariably ends up that both parties do not have interests that they can experience and share together.

At Bowes-Lyon Partnership we find that gentleman that come to us requesting significantly younger women as introductions, very quickly reassess their priorities and realise themselves that what they think they want is ultimately not something that will make them happy. Their desire to find an equal that is on the same wavelength and has the same interests as them becomes much more important and the ideal age they tell us they are looking for in a partner curiously starts to increase!!"