How Do I Get Over My Fear of Falling in Love?
Everyone wants to feel loved and most people hope to fall in love one day. However, some of us are inclined to freak out and run in the other direction when the possibility of true love presents itself in a romantic relationship. This happens from time to time in our line of work, and although it’s natural, it can be very frustrating, confusing, and hurtful for both parties involved. So how can you get over this fear and achieve the long-term relationship you’ve always wanted?
- Evaluate your past. Why did your previous relationships end? What issues kept coming up? Were you possibly pushing love away? Once you see common patterns in your relationship behaviour, you can trace them back to their roots. Are you worried that falling in love will cause you to lose your ‘edge’ and focus at work like it did in the past? Are you nervous that you’ll just get again like you did a few years ago?
- Stop listening to that devil on your shoulder. We all have that little voice inside our head that tries to sneak in and rain on our parade. It causes us to doubt ourselves and our relationships when there really isn’t any reason to. For example, it may tell you that your partner doesn’t love you as much as you love her or that the relationship won’t last more than a few weeks because you’ll get bored like you always do. Tell that voice to get lost and give love a fair shot instead!
- Challenge your defences. Our defences, no matter how alluring they may be, are not always in line with our best interests. Sometimes they keep us from achieving our goals. Recognise the brick walls you put up to keep others at a distance in your own life.
- Feel your feelings. New feelings can be really scary, but just because something feels uncomfortable at first, doesn’t mean you should run away from it. If you are experiencing real love in your life for the first time, your body and mind will literally change in the beginning. I won’t bore you with the science of it all, but think about how you feel after an amazing session at the gym – your muscles hurt for a few days, right? But that’s how you know it’s working! It’s the same way when you fall in love; various new chemicals are being released into your brain and you’re bound to feel different for a while. Don’t be scared, enjoy it!
- Allow yourself to be vulnerable and open. Being vulnerable is a mark of strength, not weakness. It means ignoring the voices in your head and putting yourself out there despite your insecurities or fears. Not everyone is capable of giving love a shot – be proud of yourself for doing so because it’s worth it!