Clichés become clichés because lots of people reference them. We take comfort in understanding and using them as they usually hold a grain of truth. But does that mean they’re normally grounded in logic?
With dating, not always. In fact, hardly ever.
We’ve heard plenty of dating advice in our lives, whether it’s from our parents, online, a magazine, a dating expert or from something on the telly.
Apparently, leopards can’t change their spots, opposites attract, you can’t judge a book by its cover, you shouldn’t kiss on a first date and you should always trust your gut when it comes to assessing a date.
Embracing clichés like the ones listed above is understandable, particularly if you’ve had a painful break-up or haven’t found a compatible partner for a long time. However, they’re incredibly dangerous perspectives to hold.
People can change. When you think about it, we all do. Ask any dating expert at the Bowes-Lyon Partnership and they’ll say the same: no one stays the same. Our life experiences continually mould us. Just because someone wasn’t ready for love at 18 doesn’t mean they won’t be at 68. And so on.
Opposites do attract, but they also clash. The truth is, there are no hard and fast rules to love and life. By getting to know you, we’ll be able to connect you to people that we think you’ll be compatible with, but they will have differing degrees of compatibility. We’re not all the same and people can’t be categorised as much as some dating agencies would have you believe.
Making snap decisions based on someone’s looks, smile or style of greeting is never going to be beneficial, particularly when you’re on a date. But we can’t escape the fact that, try as we might, we all form opinions quickly. Make a big effort to be warm and attractive on your date, so that you can give your date the best chance of success.
And who says you can’t kiss on a first date? Dating is supposed to be fun, exciting and instinctive.
Gut instinct is an interesting one. So often, we use our instincts to make decisions. But where do those instincts come from? If you’ve been unlucky in love, those instincts will only serve up barriers. Make sure you can separate what you’re really feeling on a date from what your ‘safe head’ wants you to think.