The first date is traditionally a nerve-racking experience, but quite often, the second date can say more about the future of a relationship than the first. The first date makes the impression, the second date makes the connection. When meeting someone for the first time, the tendency to go all out and impress can be overwhelming, and nerves can often get the better of people. The second date is a more informal, relaxed affair; the very existence of a second date means that both parties are interested in the other and would like to see where this potential meeting could lead.
But as promising as a second date might be, there are also a lot more issues to consider. How soon is it appropriate to get into contact again after the first date? Will the other party be expecting a change of scenery from the first date scenario? How can you discover whether your date is relationship ready? This guide gives the rundown on how to deal with the politics behind the second date and ensure it goes off without a hitch.
One of the biggest worries about setting up the second date itself is how long to wait before contacting the other party. There is no clear-cut answer to this; it must be judged on individual cases. If someone is an elite and busy professional and doesn’t manage to return a call for a week or more, this may simply be because their workload has them swamped and is nothing to worry about. Equally, someone in a high-powered profession might not be used to the tedious waiting game that comes with dating, and might see fit to make contact the very next day. Those meeting through an elite introduction agency might also see no need to wait before calling; both parties have established that they’re interested in a relationship, so the old mantra of playing ‘hard to get’ is irrelevant. Each situation is entirely unique and should be judged accordingly.
Trying something new is a good way to better judge someone’s character or personality on a second date. If the first date was spent at an upmarket restaurant late at night, try to arrange something more informal and casual; lunch at a quiet tea room or even something as simple as a walk in the park. The change of scenery demonstrates a willingness to try new things and not stay within a comfort zone, and being in a different environment allows for a wider spectrum of conversation topics that might not have been broached over dinner.
One of the pitfalls of second dates is the tendency to get too personal, too soon. Those using a dating agency are often very up front and matter-of-fact about their romantic history, as part of being relationship ready, but this doesn’t mean that the ins-and-outs of every divorce or painful relationship ending should be laid bare so early. If the second date is a success, there is plenty of time for more serious conversation further down the line.
Following these tips can make for a second date which matches the success of the first, and will hopefully secure many more dates in the future.
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