Communication: The Foundation of Your Relationship
It is a problem faced by everyone in a relationship sooner or later, whether it is a fledgling relationship that has been official for just weeks, or a long-term relationship with marriage vows and children involved. Communication issues are incredibly common in relationships, and they can result in two people parting ways eventually. Communication builds a truthful and healthy relationship, and without it, couples can often find themselves drifting apart or entering into conflict more often.
Director of elite dating agency Bowes-Lyon Partnership, Hayley Bystram, says, “The vast majority of problems in relationships stem from poor communication between the two parties. When one person in the relationship cannot be vocal about their thoughts, their ideas about the future or any issues that they might be encountering, it is a recipe for disaster. It can lead to a heightened level of conflict, or simply the feeling that the other party does not care anymore.”
The modern misconception about communication is that, simply because you have plenty of communicative devices, you are doing it right. Sending a text message a few times a day, or commenting on the Facebook status of your significant other does not constitute ‘good’ communication in a relationship. It has become the norm nowadays for people to get by relying entirely on technology to supplement their relationships. Effective communication is not how many emoticons you can send in a text message, or how many e-cards you send to your other half’s work address; it comes when two individuals talk about their feelings or their attitudes towards certain situations. It is vital to ascertain how the other party feels about something, whether it is a specific circumstance the two people find themselves in, or a certain phase of the relationship that must be discussed.
Communication also helps to build trust between two people. Without proper communication, how can two people really say that they know one another? Without discussing feelings and ideas, thoughts and perceptions, how can two people be on the same wavelength about their future together? How can you truly be relationship ready if you are not prepared to be involved in these types of discussions?
Of course, communication is not just about verbally expressing thoughts and feelings. Part of communication is learning how to listen. Attentive listening is crucial to allowing a partner to feel as though their attempt at communication is not going unnoticed. It is also important to recognise and understand one’s own emotions; how can you put something into words if you don’t understand exactly how you feel about something? Getting to know yourself is as much a part of communication as getting to know a partner.