‘Don’t match me with a Brexiter’ is something I’ve heard from quite a few of my members in the last couple of weeks. In a world where finding your ideal partner seems to be getting harder and harder, a new criteria has been added to the growing list of requirements when dating.
But is there a place for politics in dating?
The rise of internet dating, mobile dating apps and dating agencies are proof alone that it is hard enough to find someone who is attractive to you, enjoys a similar lifestyle to yourself and envisions the same future path that you do, without throwing other compatibility obstacles in the mix. There seems to be an ever-growing opinion these days that we will only get along with people who are exactly like ourselves. People who think like we do and behave like we do.
The recent fall-out on social media over the Brexit result has seen people dismiss, ‘unfriend’ or even abuse friends, colleagues, family, loved ones etc who do not agree with their political viewpoints. We are becoming more intolerable of people who are not like ourselves and what does that mean for single people in the dating world?
What are the chances of meeting someone exactly like you?
When finding a partner, people are looking at a sizeable pool of potential and then using certain criteria to whittle that pool of potential down to only include people that match the qualities and traits they desire. The most common factors comprise things such as age, location, height, looks, relationship status etc. Then the nitty gritty detail of the potential partners personality, hobbies, interests, and what they are looking for in their future. Add in hair colour, star-signs, schools they attended, cars they drive, and whether they are a Brexiter or a Remainer, and you are shrinking your chances of success to a small handful of compatible people. And what are the chances of you bumping into or crossing paths with these exact people?
In my 10 years of working in the dating industry, some of my greatest successes are the matches that adhere to the rule of ‘opposites attract’. I have couples who are married, engaged and people who have had famlies where even I was surprised that the relationship worked, even though I put them together! Looking at them on paper, sometimes I struggled to see what the compatibility factors were, but there was something that made these relationships click and I don’t think the dominating factor was their aligned political beliefs.
Politics stir up an emotional reaction and the biggest issue is that people are really looking at the stereotype that person matches, based on their political affiliation. They make assumptions about the person based on who they vote for, and the worst thing to do in dating is to make assumptions. There’s a high chance you’re going to assume wrong. The consequences of doing that is that you might miss a great opportunity.
What political views do represent are the values that someone believes are important and that is the key to a successful relationship. Having the same morals and values as your partner. All the couples that I have successfully matched, whether they are complete opposites or practical mirror images of one another, both parties in these relationships have very similar morals and values.
I will leave you with some interesting facts based on our own dating agency members:
- All the members that have said, these last two weeks, ‘don’t match me with a Brexiter’ have been women
- Across the age spectrum of male members, one request that we regularly hear, is a desire to meet a lady who can offer a differing opinion or viewpoint to them, and can engage in lively conversation and debate
One might conclude that ladies want to meet someone just like them, yet gentleman are more open to opposites and want a partner that challenges them.
Either way, despite the recent rise in requests to be matched with people with the same political viewpoints, I don’t think we’ll be changing our marketing material to “Remainers need only apply” quite yet……!